3 Ways that People Block their Feelings

Last week we discussed feelings and that there are no “bad” feelings even though some emotions are perceived that way. When we feel anxious, angry, sad, hurt, depressed, or fearful, we tend to get rid of these states as quickly as possible.

Most people don’t even realize they are avoiding themselves by blocking unwanted emotions.

Once we become aware of how we stay bottled up, we can change. We can learn to be in touch with what we feel and who we are without dismissing our human experiences. We can use all of life’s experiences (wanted and unwanted) equally — as the stairway to a better version of ourselves.

3 Ways Feelings are Blocked:

#1 Holding Your Breath

During counseling sessions, the statement I’ve repeated the most is “Breathe.”  I do this because most people hold their breath when they’re about to cry or feel other uncomfortable emotions. This cuts off oxygen to the brain and numbs the experience. In other words, those feelings remain internally trapped.

When you breathe, you are opening the doorway that allows the gremlins to get out. The gremlins are those nasty little critters that never let you be at peace. They always haunt you about what you did wrong, what’s not going right, and every mistake that’s ever happened in your life. And they never sleep. They feed on pain, fear, and stress.

When you breathe, you can stay connected to your feelings and you can cry or otherwise emote your pain. It might feel uncomfortable, but you’ll be much happier when the gremlin committee is silenced by releasing your distress.

#2 Medicating Them

Use of any substance or type of behavior that dulls emotions, is nothing more than (ineffectively) trying to control feelings. Alcohol, drugs (legal and illegal), gambling, nicotine, sex, shopping, sugar, and work are some of the ways that people numb their emotions. They replace the discomfort they feel with an artificial (temporary) high. The pain doesn’t go away, it simply gets medicated.

The longer someone self-medicates, the harder it becomes to work through emotions. Instead of learning how to make better choices or cope, the person remains stuck — in an unconscious state. They aren’t responding to the reality of here and now, but instead, to an imaginary or self-imposed traumatic situation. When a person faces their emotions, they can move through the blockage and beyond to freedom.

#3 Distractions

There’s no end to the ways we can distract ourselves. That’s why offices were created. If there’s something that needs attention, the mind is radical about finding distractions. The same holds for internal work.

If you want to be the best version of yourself, you must heal what ails you. If you feel uncomfortable about something, sit still and be with YOU. It won’t be easy, but it’s far better than carrying around toxic waste wherever you go. When you just be, close your eyes, and refuse to be distracted, you will be amazed at how much power you can regain. Instead of being driven beyond all reasonable limits by some unrelenting, invisible force, you will learn to release emotional baggage and then take charge of what you do and with whom.

Blocking feelings is never the healthiest choice. You might need to excuse yourself and vent in private but let it out. When your body needs to purge something that’s making you sick, you allow yourself to regurgitate it. It’s equally important to rid yourself of toxic emotions — lest they fester and make you emotionally ill.

When we breathe and nurture ourselves through uncomfortable situations, we grow emotionally and spiritually — like we are designed to do. We then can master our actions and choices without being driven by unseen demons and forces. We then live inside our bodies in peace — integrated and whole without the need to escape. So why not enjoy a life being in your skin and enjoying the ride?

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