Two Types of Resistance and How It Blocks Success

Even though many people sign up for change, most people encounter resistance along the way, particularly in personal growth. They don’t follow through with tasks or assignments that would help them improve what ails them. They decide they don’t like what’s required of them before giving it a fair chance. They argue that the suggestion or assignment will not help them even before they try it. They say things like they “know what will happen,” and refuse to follow through with constructive action.

It’s easy to perceive resistance as laziness or obstinance, but it’s usually just the fear of change or the unknown.

If we’re unaware that we’re encountering resistance in some form, then we remain under its control. Once we see that resistance is blocking progress, we can be willing to push on through and reach the desired goals.

Conscious Resistance

Conscious resistance occurs when someone intentionally won’t take the necessary steps for change. This person is aware they are uncomfortable, and they allow that feeling to govern their actions. “I can’t do that, I’ll fail,” “You don’t understand, if I say that, it will lead to a fight,” “I’ve tried that before, it never works,” “If you knew this person (situation),  you’d understand why your suggestion doesn’t make sense,” or “I could never do that, I’m not smart (capable, qualified, etc.) enough to do that.”

Their mind is deceiving them, and this should be explored. What would it look like if your actions were successful? Arguments can be avoided with the right approach. Let’s try to figure out why your previous attempts haven’t worked and tweak things up a little. Let’s see how we can make better sense of this suggestion. Since you feel you’re not smart (capable, qualified) enough, let’s see what we can do to build more confidence.

Conscious resistance regarding the right action creates a sense of anxiety or dread and blocks the person from their goal. They know that they “should” do something, but they “can’t.” Reframing these statements could help reverse such negative thoughts and replace them with the courage to take the first steps. You could say, “Rather than saying you should do something, would you be willing to understand why you’re not?” Or “What about replacing the word can’t with won’t? You can do it and let’s try to understand why you won’t.”

Unconscious Resistance

Unconscious resistance is when someone doesn’t realize how they block their progress. It’s like the stage director in the background that the audience can’t see. The unconscious is the part of the mind that directs a person’s behavior without their awareness.  Forgetting appointments or assignments or blocking out prior discussions are examples of the underpinnings of unconscious resistance. Someone will say they don’t know why they forgot something important even when it’s written down on their calendar. They might not remember what was discussed in the previous session because the material was intense and their memories were blocked.

Even when resistance is unconscious, it can still be exposed. If the person attempts to understand why they forgot or repressed something, they’re likely to figure it out. And most of the time it will be for the same reason as conscious resistance — it’s just too uncomfortable.

It takes courage to change because it’s never easy to do something that feels unfamiliar and unknown, even when it’s good for us. You might want to jump off a high dive, but if you don’t climb the stairs, walk to the end of the board, take a leap of faith, and jump, you’ll remain fearful. But once you experience the exhilaration of success and the more you practice, the less fear controls you. Eventually, you can keep upping your challenge and improve your skills even more.

Working through resistance is the only way to make progress. Every human being encounters this feeling at some time in their life. We all have a wall that we hit, and we must push past our comfort zone if we want to get past that barrier.

Giving in to resistance keeps a person stuck and unsure of themselves. It’s far better to feel scared and take a few small steps than to hold back and remain stuck. The biggest trap of all is right inside of our own mind. There’s nothing more challenging yet equally rewarding than overcoming one’s blocks in life. Taking control means we no longer serve at the mercy of unwanted or unexpected outcomes as we step up the ladder of life and achieve our wishes and goals.

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