I’ve attended many funerals over the past year. It’s made me aware of how many of us take time for granted. We live as though we are immortal: putting off important decisions, wasting time on meaningless things, and responding with anger instead of love. Like the rest of us, I often fall short. Nevertheless, I often repeat the question I’ve heard before: What if I lived every day as if it were the last?
We don’t have an extended warranty on our lives or a crystal ball that tells us when the journey ends. That’s why it’s important to be mindful of how we spend our time with ourselves and others. Are we investing in situations that aren’t enjoyable? Do we find humor in situations that aren’t initially funny? Are we with people who love us and are nurturing and supportive? Do we take good care of our bodies so they last as long as possible? Do we find daily purpose in our lives? Have we corrected our mistakes so we’re at peace before falling asleep? Have we said I love you every day? These are just a few things that help us enjoy our time here to the fullest.
Most importantly, we want to be able to live and die in peace. In therapy, patients have often told me they were stuck in intolerable situations yet still wouldn’t make the changes that could have improved their lives, and then they suddenly passed away. The only way to get unstuck is to replace fear with self-love. The short-term discomfort of taking action far outweighs the long-term suffering that makes dying more appealing than living.
Love is the best assurance of longevity. We’ve all heard stories about people who endured hardship and still lived long, happy lives. These people knew the secrets to success. They lived, they loved, they laughed. They also made sure each day was worth living by the choices they made.
They say we shouldn’t look forward or look back, but I say we should do both. History is our teacher, and the future is our goal. This is a reminder that my visit to Earth is temporary and that every moment is a precious gift.
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Donna Marks is an educator, licensed psychotherapist, and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida. She has worked with over 6,000 clients. Donna’s struggle with addiction brought her to a worldwide search for healing. She became licensed as a Mental Health Counselor in 1987. In 1989, she earned a Doctorate Degree in Adult Education, then became Certified in Addictions, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Hypnosis, and Sex Therapy. Donna developed an award-winning addiction training program at Palm Beach Community College. She co-owns an outpatient treatment program and serves as a consultant to treatment centers. For 36 years, she has taught A Course in Miracles.
Donna is the author of three books: the multi-award-winning title Exit the Maze: One Addiction, One Cause, One Cure, and Learn, Grow, Forgive: A Path to Spiritual Success, The Healing Moment: Seven Paths to Turn Messes into Miracles of Love, and her latest fiction, Fortis & Sapiente – A Tale of Two Lovers Who Successfully Navigate the Murky Waters of Love. Donna is a public speaker and has shared her methods with millions of listeners on podcasts and radio shows.
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