Three Things to Achieve Success in Therapy

Over the years, I’ve worked with many people who want to improve their lives. Many of these people have been successful, but others haven’t been able to achieve their goals. Failure isn’t always the fault of the therapist or the patient. Sometimes, unforeseen factors interfere with treatment. However, success is highly likely if you have a skilled therapist and a willing patient.

#1 – Have a Goal – You can hardly arrive if you don’t know your destination. Having a goal will garner all your attention toward obtaining that goal. Therapy is like learning any other skill. You wouldn’t sit through classes if you weren’t earning credit toward a certification or degree. You wouldn’t train for something that didn’t have a specific outcome. There’s no reason to be in therapy if you don’t have a goal.
Some people want to learn a particular behavior, and others simply need emotional support and guidance. The goal motivates us to stay with the process when the going gets tough. It reminds us that we are worth the effort we put into therapy, the same as any other endeavor in life.

#2—There’s No Quick Fix – Some people jump from one healer to the next, like when shopping on Amazon. If one remedy doesn’t promptly work, they try another. Therapy isn’t like changing a tire. It starts with two strangers beginning a new relationship, and the therapist guides the patient toward their goal. Sometimes, that desired outcome is having a safe place to process life’s challenging events. Other times, it might be assistance with achieving interpersonal challenges like overcoming a mental health disorder or an addiction.
It takes time to build rapport and trust. Most people who seek help have experienced a significant amount of pain for a while. This pain accumulates over time and often results from a series of unwelcome events. It’s essential to allow sufficient time for the treatment to take effect. Most importantly, by staying engaged with your therapist, you can learn the most about yourself and how to overcome the blocks that keep you stuck. Otherwise, you may continue to “seek and never find” (a quote from A Course in Miracles), which leads only to hopelessness and despair.

#3 – The Willingness to be Uncomfortable – Change is never comfortable. It’s always easier to think that life would be better if some person or situation would change: If the weather were better, if my spouse didn’t drink, if my boss were nicer, then I’d be happier. However, the change must start within if we want things to be different.

It’s always uncomfortable to change our behaviors to achieve our goals. But if we’re unwilling to work through the discomfort, we can’t reach new heights of success. The expression, “If nothing changes, then nothing changes,” might seem absurd, but it’s true. Most of us wish and pray for the world to be different, but that’s a losing battle if we remain passive recipients instead of empowering ourselves. When we’re willing to do what it takes to reach our goals, even when we don’t want to, we build something more powerful than fear or anxiety. We are constructing self-esteem and a path to self-love.

The willingness to stretch toward a goal is always empowering. It’s never too late to learn how to love yourself. Consider the positive outcome of feeling good about yourself when you reach the finish line. There is no limit to the success you deserve. So, whether you’re in therapy or thinking about starting this journey, find a good therapist and stick with all the uncomfortable feelings that indicate you’re growing and getting closer to your goal. You deserve success.

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