If you’re like me, you enjoy having a plan and don’t like it when life throws you curve balls. It’s nice when the day goes about as expected, but you’ll likely get lots of unwanted surprises if you’re busy. Like yesterday. My day was entirely laid out. Pilates at 9:00, meeting at 10:15, lunch meeting at 11:30 (yes, I’m that organized), prepare bank documents in the afternoon, write a blog, and by 3:00, be ready to spend time with family the rest of the day.
Well, things didn’t go exactly as planned… Lunch started a half hour late. Scanners and printers aren’t my friends, and I wasted hours scanning documents that I couldn’t access later and assimilate, turning my mood darkly — to say the least. I got all that off my plate, then found out I needed to write a speech unexpectedly.
My hair was about to catch on fire, but then I remembered the three things I do whenever life overwhelms me.
#1 Breathe.
Most people unconsciously hold their breath when they’re stressed. It’s a natural way of trying to fight off the angst. However, when we hold our breath, we send our nervous system into haywire mode. Our body thinks something is wrong when our heart, brain, and bloodstream are oxygen-deprived. The heart beats faster, the stress hormones are released, and we enter freak-out mode.
However, if you take three deep breaths every time you feel stressed, your heart rate will remain calm, and your brain won’t send out SOS signals. You will be able to think clearly and maintain power over external circumstances. Instead of adding fuel to the fire, you mentally allow a nice flow of cool breath to dampen the internal combustion. So, the next time you feel the pressure building inside you, take three deep breaths and enjoy the result.
#2 Stay Focused
Staying focused means to attend to the task at hand and don’t allow anything to distract you. Don’t answer the phone unless it’s an emergency. Let your loved ones know you’re in the weeds and must stay there for a while. Try to divert any questions until later. This will save you time and will also help you keep track of the task at hand. Otherwise (especially with a big project), you’ll feel those weeds growing around you choking out your progress. It’s all right to tell someone you’ll be with them momentarily or to ask for a bit of space until you’re finished. If help is offered, accept it.
#3 Remember – This is temporary
One of my favorite quotes from a self-help group I attend is, “This too shall pass.” Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I repeat this phrase to myself. I also reinforce it with other thoughts, like, “You know this will turn out just fine. It always does. You always get through this and accomplish your goals.’
This type of positive self-talk is soothing and builds confidence in moments of doubt. Remembering that everything is temporary, we can ride whatever wave comes our way. We know that soon enough, we’ll be safely at shore.
Some people run on stress. That’s why caffeine is so popular. But all kidding aside, most of us like to feel we’re in control, and the unexpected robs us of that. But we always have a choice. Do I want to feel like I’m coming unglued like a spinning tornado, or do I want to feel like a finely oiled motor humming along at the perfect tempo?
Life will always have its challenges, and the more we contribute to life, the more challenges we’ll have. But instead of wildly swinging the bat during those times, try taking three deep breaths, staying focused on the ball, and striking away at whatever’s in front of you without any distractions. And remember, this too shall pass…
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Donna Marks is an educator, licensed psychotherapist, and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida. She has worked with over 6,000 clients. Donna’s struggle with addiction brought her to a worldwide search for healing. She became licensed as a Mental Health Counselor in 1987. In 1989, she earned a Doctorate Degree in Adult Education, then became Certified in Addictions, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Hypnosis, and Sex Therapy. Donna developed an award-winning addiction training program at Palm Beach Community College. She co-owns an outpatient treatment program and serves as a consultant to treatment centers. For 36 years, she has taught A Course in Miracles.
Donna is the author of three books: the multi-award-winning title Exit the Maze: One Addiction, One Cause, One Cure, and Learn, Grow, Forgive: A Path to Spiritual Success, The Healing Moment: Seven Paths to Turn Messes into Miracles of Love, and her latest fiction, Fortis & Sapiente – A Tale of Two Lovers Who Successfully Navigate the Murky Waters of Love. Donna is a public speaker and has shared her methods with millions of listeners on podcasts and radio shows.
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