Sometimes it’s hard to allow ourselves to feel good. Our minds lock onto anything negative, especially what other people say or think about us. Our minds make up stories that someone doesn’t like us – whether it’s true or not. As if that isn’t bad enough, we tend to beat ourselves up whenever we fall short of our own expectations. This is a losing battle. If we only dwell on the negative, we can’t ever let in the light – even though it’s always accessible.
If it’s not constructive, it doesn’t matter what someone thinks of us. I remember telling a mentor that so-and-so didn’t like me, and she told me it was none of my business. How could it be none of my business? I challenged. “Because if you waste all your time thinking about what people think of you, you’ll always give your power away to the wrong people,” she answered. It took a while to digest, but she was right. I learned that there will always be people who don’t like me, and so what. Instead of being pulled into darkness, I focus on mutually empowering relationships, and we share our light with one another.
There have been people I didn’t like either. Ironically, once I got to know them, I found someone with many qualities rather than faults. My light met their light.
Groups can be even more challenging. All those negative thoughts work overtime. But when we remain positive and loving, any situation can be turned around. I recently had the honor of teaching a group, and after receiving the evaluations, I was moved to tears. I didn’t want to feel such strong emotions, but I allowed myself to, because I was letting in the light.
All of us have an inner light that can be kindled. If someone tries to blow it out, we can respond to unkindness with self-love rather than despair. No one will ever love you more than you love yourself.
As you go through the day, listen to your thoughts and pay attention to your reactions to others’ responses to you. There’s no dark situation that can’t be improved by opening up and letting in the light. We always have the choice: darkness or Light.
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Donna Marks is an educator, licensed psychotherapist, and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida. She has worked with over 6,000 clients. Donna’s struggle with addiction brought her to a worldwide search for healing. She became licensed as a Mental Health Counselor in 1987. In 1989, she earned a Doctorate Degree in Adult Education, then became Certified in Addictions, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Hypnosis, and Sex Therapy. Donna developed an award-winning addiction training program at Palm Beach Community College. She co-owns an outpatient treatment program and serves as a consultant to treatment centers. For 36 years, she has taught A Course in Miracles.
Donna is the author of three books: the multi-award-winning title Exit the Maze: One Addiction, One Cause, One Cure, and Learn, Grow, Forgive: A Path to Spiritual Success, The Healing Moment: Seven Paths to Turn Messes into Miracles of Love, and her latest fiction, Fortis & Sapiente – A Tale of Two Lovers Who Successfully Navigate the Murky Waters of Love. Donna is a public speaker and has shared her methods with millions of listeners on podcasts and radio shows.
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