“Safety” Is an Inside Job

There’s always danger in our world. Unfortunately, abusers, murderers, and terrorists cause great harm to others. Being exposed to these situations is highly traumatic, and someone who experiences such events never fully recovers. As a survivor of a vicious assault, I understand the lasting impact such harm has on the body and mind. For those of us who go through these experiences, we have choices. We can be at the mercy of our experiences or choose to recover and find peace.

We can ensure most of our safety by making good decisions, avoiding dangerous situations, and following laws and rules designed to protect us. The other kind of safety often addressed in therapy is “psychological safety.” This means staying away from people, places, and things that threaten our sense of well-being. While there are some exceptions, this type of counseling is mostly disempowering. It gives all the power of our mental state to outside circumstances instead of using healthy tools to create and maintain personal power.

Unless your life is in danger or you are being severely abused (and even then, with awareness, you can stay in control), you have the power to claim your safety. We are governed by our thoughts, and if we only listen to threatening ones, we will feel fear. If we choose to focus on loving and forgiving thoughts, we will find peace.

I have a friend who was recently approved as an ambassador to a foreign country. Despite the current hostility in the Senate, both sides praised him and his family. Why? Because he was kind to everyone. He did not see the “other” party as evil; he viewed them as human beings and created a space of unity instead of separation. This is the kind of miracle our human race desperately needs.

Amid all the current political upheaval, financial struggles, and relationship issues labeled as “unsafe spaces,” we’re faced with the choice to either avoid or grow. Differences of opinion, distancing from someone who has hurt you, or isolating from the world won’t create a “safe space.” Instead, there remains a cocoon of unhealthy stagnation that leaves no room for spiritual open-mindedness or healing.

A Course in Miracles teaches us that forgiveness is the key to happiness. When we can’t forgive others or even the world we live in, we remain locked in the past behind an impenetrable wall of resentment and grudges. But we always have the choice to open ourselves up to love instead of fear.

When we open ourselves to the voice of love, we experience overwhelming joy. This doesn’t mean we put ourselves in unsafe situations or try to revive dead relationships. But it does mean we can let go of the past and embrace the present – to make or accept apologies and to move forward without carrying old baggage. When we act from love, we have much more protection than when we are hidden behind fear. This provides us with a place to heal our wounds — whether they are ancient or fresh. Once we free ourselves from the weight of unresolved hurt through forgiveness, we are safe wherever we go.

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