Most of us avoid change because it feels too uncomfortable. We prefer the predictable, and when the unexpected occurs, our world seems to turn upside down. However, change always presents an opportunity for growth. Life happens, with or without us. When faced with a fight-or-flight decision, we choose between resistance and growth.
When we believe that everything happens for our highest good, it becomes easier to go with the flow. Feeling the sting of rejection or the pain of defeat is tough, but we can get through it—especially when we focus on the gains rather than the losses. When we remain open to change, we can grow tremendously.
Unfortunately, sometimes the pain must overwhelm us before we decide to bend to change.
I remember a time when a favorite pair of shoes I owned was too small, but I loved them so much I kept wearing them. Despite the pain and the eventual formation of calluses, I couldn’t let them go. They were labeled a size larger than usual, but I remained steadfast in denying that they were too small. Instead of facing this fact, I kept enduring the discomfort. Naturally, as the calluses grew, the situation worsened. Finally, when the pain became unbearable, I gave up the fight. I donated them to charity and began rehabilitating my poor, tortured toes.
When we resist change or struggle against reality, it’s like wearing shoes that are too small. The problem doesn’t go away; it only worsens, and we can become calloused or damaged from resisting. The alternative is to remain fluid and pliable, allowing life to mold us and shape our lives into something better.
Once you develop the habit of embracing change, life shifts from being a nightmare to a pleasant dream. We learn to enjoy life on its own terms and are freed from the pain of holding on too tightly. At that point, life becomes a joyful journey, like in the kindergarten song …gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.
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Donna Marks is an educator, licensed psychotherapist, and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida. She has worked with over 6,000 clients. Donna’s struggle with addiction brought her to a worldwide search for healing. She became licensed as a Mental Health Counselor in 1987. In 1989, she earned a Doctorate Degree in Adult Education, then became Certified in Addictions, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Hypnosis, and Sex Therapy. Donna developed an award-winning addiction training program at Palm Beach Community College. She co-owns an outpatient treatment program and serves as a consultant to treatment centers. For 36 years, she has taught A Course in Miracles.
Donna is the author of three books: the multi-award-winning title Exit the Maze: One Addiction, One Cause, One Cure, and Learn, Grow, Forgive: A Path to Spiritual Success, The Healing Moment: Seven Paths to Turn Messes into Miracles of Love, and her latest fiction, Fortis & Sapiente – A Tale of Two Lovers Who Successfully Navigate the Murky Waters of Love. Donna is a public speaker and has shared her methods with millions of listeners on podcasts and radio shows.
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