Over the years, many people stop making New Year’s resolutions because they haven’t been able to keep them. Failure never feels good. However, remaining resolved is possible when you know the secret to success.
Most people make behavioral changes for all the wrong reasons. Their doctor tells them to make changes for health reasons. A family member is concerned about a particular bad habit. They want more money, so they vow to adopt a better spending and savings plan. They want to fit into smaller sizes. They want to be more active. The list is endless. Unfortunately, while these reasons are motivational, they aren’t lasting.
As much as it feels good to be cared about by others or to want to make a change for personal reasons, it’s not enough to maintain a level of motivation.
There’s only one way to make a permanent change. It must be because you want to be the best version of yourself. You’re no longer willing to settle for a lesser you. Your physical, emotional, and financial health are more important than anything else, and it’s non-negotiable. You recognize that your body and mind are so valuable that you will care for them as intended. If you’re not sure what this means, then think about how most people have no problem providing their pets with what they need and would never give them the things that would make them ill, like nicotine, alcohol, candy, lack of exercise, or poor medical care. Yet, we treat ourselves with less care than our pets.
Fear never motivates anyone for long, and most external reasons are fear-rooted. The only way to get a resolution is to know how valuable you are and be unwilling to compromise your well-being. In other words, you decide to learn how to love yourself more than you love the behaviors that aren’t good for you.
If you want to make a New Year’s Resolution, do it because you mean something. You are important. You are valuable. You are worth it. You are lovable. When you love yourself, nothing can veer you off course for long. You might have a slight slip, like momentarily hitting a curb while driving, but you’ll get right back on track. Then, before you know it, a year will have passed, and you will have emerged as the best version of yourself.
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Donna Marks is an educator, licensed psychotherapist, and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida. She has worked with over 6,000 clients. Donna’s struggle with addiction brought her to a worldwide search for healing. She became licensed as a Mental Health Counselor in 1987. In 1989, she earned a Doctorate Degree in Adult Education, then became Certified in Addictions, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Hypnosis, and Sex Therapy. Donna developed an award-winning addiction training program at Palm Beach Community College. She co-owns an outpatient treatment program and serves as a consultant to treatment centers. For 36 years, she has taught A Course in Miracles.
Donna is the author of three books: the multi-award-winning title Exit the Maze: One Addiction, One Cause, One Cure, and Learn, Grow, Forgive: A Path to Spiritual Success, The Healing Moment: Seven Paths to Turn Messes into Miracles of Love, and her latest fiction, Fortis & Sapiente – A Tale of Two Lovers Who Successfully Navigate the Murky Waters of Love. Donna is a public speaker and has shared her methods with millions of listeners on podcasts and radio shows.
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