For some people, the holidays are not joyful. Instead, these individuals might feel stressed, lonely, or depressed. Looking around at families and smiling faces can be a painful reminder of having no one to shop for or feeling overwhelmed with too much to do. Still, it is possible to have a joyful holiday even if it’s not perfect.
There are two kinds of stress: what we can’t control and what we can. We can’t control what other people do, traffic jams, financial income, or long lines. However, we can manage our time to avoid traffic and long lines. We can also manage our reactions and instead of getting angry, we pause. Arriving early instead of late allows us to listen to music or catch up on calls and emails. We can manage our finances by setting a budget and following it. Homemade items are often a welcome item and deeply appreciated by recipients. Regarding others, we can always make specific requests and then let go of the outcome. We can also reframe our thoughts toward acceptance instead of judgment.
Loneliness is easily remedied by offering help to others. Many people don’t have anyone to be with or anything to do. Inviting them to your home or offering to spend a little time with them can be rewarding. Also, volunteers are needed during the holidays at many non-profit agencies, easily identified by an internet search (volunteer opportunities during the holidays). The best antidote to loneliness is to help someone else, and there are always folks who need assistance.
Depression can also be eased by helping others. Sometimes, by tapping into hidden internal resources, we realize we have more to offer than we thought. Additionally, avoid triggers that make you sad, such as bad news (on or off television), negative people, and depressing situations, and replace them with activities you enjoy. Since depression is rooted in the brain, it’s important to support brain health through good nutrition and exercise, and steer clear of products that encourage depression, like alcohol. Finding a hobby that lets you learn something new can also help lift your mood.
No matter how you feel right now, you do have choices. If you’re willing to try something new, you’ll find you have more energy and joy than you expected. Then, instead of watching from the outside in, you can be a part of the holiday spirit.
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Donna Marks is an educator, licensed psychotherapist, and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida. She has worked with over 6,000 clients. Donna’s struggle with addiction brought her to a worldwide search for healing. She became licensed as a Mental Health Counselor in 1987. In 1989, she earned a Doctorate Degree in Adult Education, then became Certified in Addictions, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Hypnosis, and Sex Therapy. Donna developed an award-winning addiction training program at Palm Beach Community College. She co-owns an outpatient treatment program and serves as a consultant to treatment centers. For 36 years, she has taught A Course in Miracles.
Donna is the author of three books: the multi-award-winning title Exit the Maze: One Addiction, One Cause, One Cure, and Learn, Grow, Forgive: A Path to Spiritual Success, The Healing Moment: Seven Paths to Turn Messes into Miracles of Love, and her latest fiction, Fortis & Sapiente – A Tale of Two Lovers Who Successfully Navigate the Murky Waters of Love. Donna is a public speaker and has shared her methods with millions of listeners on podcasts and radio shows.
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