The holidays can be stressful. There’s extra shopping, meal prep, and social events. This change in routine and the effort needed can wear on the nervous system. Joy during this season can turn to fatigue and mood swings. However, we can embrace the holidays without the hectic pace that is often required to create a memorable event.
A new attitude is always under personal control. If I dread this time of year, I’m bound to be miserable no matter what. But if I say, “This is a challenging time of year, but I’m going to figure out how to enjoy it,” I allow my mind to reframe events. Consequently, I replace tension with a more relaxed state of mind and physical being.
Second, we can learn to delegate. Some people need to feel in control of everything, but that leads to excessive stress. When we ask others to participate, it’s a win-win situation. Everyone feels involved and contributory, and you gain more free time to relax and regroup. A shared experience is a more loving one. Whether it’s a dish, an errand, or assistance with preparations, it’s a way to get support. You might be thinking, ‘That’s more work than it’s worth. People forget, do the wrong thing, and it’s not worth it.’ However, if you make clear requests with a brief follow-up, chances are, things will turn out well. Also, if someone offers to do things at their home (like my daughter did this year), let them. You’ll get to enjoy being a guest without the stress of hosting, and you can put your efforts elsewhere. Additionally, the person taking over will have a greater appreciation for the effort you’ve put in before.
Thirdly, be organized. Making lists with a timeline for purchases and preparation can be highly effective. You can take advantage of home delivery services to reduce your errands. If you’re cooking, decide which things can be made ahead of time. Designate an area in your home for gift wrapping and do it as purchases are made, instead of all at once. Or get them pre-wrapped. Some people like to have gift-wrapping get-togethers or cookie exchange parties to make things more enjoyable. Don’t wait until the last minute or cram too much into one day. Pace your efforts so they’re fun, not exhausting.
We can’t control the extra work that the holidays bring, but we do have full control over how we handle ourselves during this season. We can choose to feel overwhelmed and stressed, or use tools to approach the holidays with planning and pacing, creating memorable, fun, and loving moments with minimal stress. It’s always a choice.
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Donna Marks is an educator, licensed psychotherapist, and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida. She has worked with over 6,000 clients. Donna’s struggle with addiction brought her to a worldwide search for healing. She became licensed as a Mental Health Counselor in 1987. In 1989, she earned a Doctorate Degree in Adult Education, then became Certified in Addictions, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Hypnosis, and Sex Therapy. Donna developed an award-winning addiction training program at Palm Beach Community College. She co-owns an outpatient treatment program and serves as a consultant to treatment centers. For 36 years, she has taught A Course in Miracles.
Donna is the author of three books: the multi-award-winning title Exit the Maze: One Addiction, One Cause, One Cure, and Learn, Grow, Forgive: A Path to Spiritual Success, The Healing Moment: Seven Paths to Turn Messes into Miracles of Love, and her latest fiction, Fortis & Sapiente – A Tale of Two Lovers Who Successfully Navigate the Murky Waters of Love. Donna is a public speaker and has shared her methods with millions of listeners on podcasts and radio shows.
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