A Course in Miracles asks its readers a vital question: Do I want to be right or happy? Sometimes being right is crucial, such as following directions, evaluating health, and accepting the truth. But when being right matters more than these things, we can suffer greatly. Clinging to a position that contradicts reality only leads to conflict and pain.
In the mental health field, we often see individuals who prioritize being right over being happy. Instead of following directions, conducting accurate assessments, and accepting the truth, they make decisions based on their emotions rather than what is in their best interests. For example, when someone dismisses a solution to their problem because it’s too uncomfortable, the issue often escalates into a crisis. We frequently see this with addictions and mental health conditions. Instead of accepting the reality of signs and symptoms, the patient may dismiss the diagnosis, which can often lead to insanity, legal issues, permanent liver damage, brain injury, accidents, and broken relationships. Once the crisis occurs, the damage is frequently irreversible.
The targeted patient isn’t always the one who suffers from being right over being happy. When a patient’s support system undermines the treatment process and doesn’t intervene in a timely manner, they inadvertently subject themselves to unnecessary trauma. There’s no doubt that addressing a person’s self-defeating behavior is challenging, but not nearly as difficult as watching someone slowly crash and burn.
Taking a position that is wrong or defies reality can only lead to nowhere. Seeing things clearly is a gift. However, we can always reserve a small amount of our vision to remain open to additional information and consider the possibility that being right or wrong isn’t as important as truth. When we open our minds to this possibility, life can fall into place.
While there are times when holding a position is important, there are also instances when it is self-defeating. When deciding whether I want to be right or happy, I often think of the famous quote by Keats: “Beauty is truth, truth is beauty — that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.” Then I ask myself if I truly know the truth or if I am stuck in pride, refusing to explore the facts openly. What harm can come from considering another point of view? Maybe happiness?
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Donna Marks is an educator, licensed psychotherapist, and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida. She has worked with over 6,000 clients. Donna’s struggle with addiction brought her to a worldwide search for healing. She became licensed as a Mental Health Counselor in 1987. In 1989, she earned a Doctorate Degree in Adult Education, then became Certified in Addictions, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Hypnosis, and Sex Therapy. Donna developed an award-winning addiction training program at Palm Beach Community College. She co-owns an outpatient treatment program and serves as a consultant to treatment centers. For 36 years, she has taught A Course in Miracles.
Donna is the author of three books: the multi-award-winning title Exit the Maze: One Addiction, One Cause, One Cure, and Learn, Grow, Forgive: A Path to Spiritual Success, The Healing Moment: Seven Paths to Turn Messes into Miracles of Love, and her latest fiction, Fortis & Sapiente – A Tale of Two Lovers Who Successfully Navigate the Murky Waters of Love. Donna is a public speaker and has shared her methods with millions of listeners on podcasts and radio shows.
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