It’s easy to take things for granted. When I was a victim of addiction, I didn’t appreciate anything. Even though I lived in one of the most beautiful places in the world, I only saw a blur of images — not the stunning waterways, swaying palms, and unique architectural buildings. Instead, my inner world of gloom was projected outward through a lens of invisibility or gray. I didn’t value the kind contributions offered to me, yet I accepted them in stride. Addiction brought me to a reptilian level, like a lizard that contributes little and merely expects the next opportunity. My own accomplishments were merely tasks completed, just a series of steps on a ladder without any intrinsic satisfaction. Not knowing what love was, my relationships were sterile because of a closed heart.
Once I became sober and embraced the gifts of my recovery program, my icy heart began to thaw. I transformed into a human with feelings. I started to see through a new set of eyes. I learned to appreciate the beauty surrounding me. Even the simplest acts of nature, like the song of a bird, a newly blossomed flower, a thunderstorm, or a returned smile, as well as the smell of blooming jasmine, all kindled my heart and soul.
I could deal with the hurt that had barricaded my heart instead of holding it in. Facing my pain and letting it out allowed my icy emotions to melt and let in the “sunshine of the spirit.” Resentments transformed into gratitude for lessons learned. Acts of kindness were met with genuine appreciation. My hollowed-out soul filled with joy.
Gratitude, like love, is a decision. It means making a conscious effort to take stock of all the good things in life. Even the misfortunes can be utilized to make a difference. Some people seize these chances to care for others in the darkest moments without needing accolades or recognition. They are grateful for the opportunities to help others.
Today, I’m thankful for many things: sobriety, spirituality, a comfortable home, friends, family, a fulfilling career, good physical and mental health, and the ability to give back. I am especially grateful that all my life experiences have given me meaning and purpose. I owe all of this to recovery.
Life is fleeting. Perhaps the light wouldn’t mean so much if I hadn’t lived in darkness. It took me a while to be grateful to be alive and to enjoy the experience. And for that, I have the most gratitude of all.
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Donna Marks is an educator, licensed psychotherapist, and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida. She has worked with over 6,000 clients. Donna’s struggle with addiction brought her to a worldwide search for healing. She became licensed as a Mental Health Counselor in 1987. In 1989, she earned a Doctorate Degree in Adult Education, then became Certified in Addictions, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Hypnosis, and Sex Therapy. Donna developed an award-winning addiction training program at Palm Beach Community College. She co-owns an outpatient treatment program and serves as a consultant to treatment centers. For 36 years, she has taught A Course in Miracles.
Donna is the author of three books: the multi-award-winning title Exit the Maze: One Addiction, One Cause, One Cure, and Learn, Grow, Forgive: A Path to Spiritual Success, The Healing Moment: Seven Paths to Turn Messes into Miracles of Love, and her latest fiction, Fortis & Sapiente – A Tale of Two Lovers Who Successfully Navigate the Murky Waters of Love. Donna is a public speaker and has shared her methods with millions of listeners on podcasts and radio shows.
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