Mother’s Day – A Time of Reflection

The word “mom” generates different emotions depending on one’s life experiences. Some people have warm and loving feelings toward their mothers because their moms are affectionate and caring. Others experience negative emotions regarding their mothers due to painful interactions. For some, like me, there exists a mixture of positive and unpleasant feelings.
Moms not only give birth but also ideally devote a significant portion of their lives to ensuring their child’s needs are met. Good parenting is no easy task. Food, clothing, shelter, warmth, affection, education, guidance, play, safety, and other essential interactions are vital for a young and developing life. Fulfilling such demands depends on the emotional and financial resources that are available. A mom who is single, or works, or is emotionally distraught has fewer internal and external resources to meet the high demands of childrearing. A mom with financial security, a partner’s support, and happiness does not suffer the same strains that the lack of these states engenders.
Parenting requires tremendous time and energy. A loving mom can prioritize her children’s needs despite limitations. She learns how to juggle her finances, spend quality time with her children, and manage her stress and pain while remaining available to them. A parent struggling with untreated mental health issues will face challenges in these areas. Unfortunately, children raised in such situations will also suffer. Sometimes, these children wonder why they were born. However, the gift of life doesn’t end in childhood, and we can overcome any childhood trauma or suffering if we choose to do so.
For many generations, the only information on parenting was passed down through families. Consequently, the same mistakes were often repeated in subsequent generations. People like me followed the same dysfunctional parenting behaviors as their childhood role models.
Currently, abundant information is available on effective parenting and good mental health. Many parents have adopted these tools, refined their parenting skills, and provided homes where their children can thrive.
For those of you who had an ideal mom, you are blessed. For those of us whose moms faced challenges or suffered in some way, we can still be grateful for the gift of life. I’m also blessed that I’ve healed my past through therapy and forgiveness, allowing me to focus on being a good daughter and a better mom to my adult children.
Mother’s Day holds different meanings for different people. It’s okay to feel sad if you didn’t have the mom you rightfully deserved. It’s never too late to allow others to love you maternally.
Irrespective of the kind of mother you’ve had, it’s a perfect time to be a loving and kind parent to yourself and to treat yourself the way you deserve.

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