Being flexible about life is a gift. Little children are rarely rigid about anything; they go with the flow. They prioritize being with people they love, playing, and having fun. Their imaginations are always ready for a new journey to wonderland. However, as the years pass, we tend to become more set in our ways. We lose that youthful spontaneity that keeps us young at heart.
Life is often a difficult journey, with an endless stream of challenges for some. Those hard times can contribute to a lack of faith and hope. Weary of disappointments, it’s easier to hunker down into what’s safe and familiar. This seems to minimize the letdowns, but not without a cost. We can also miss out on the joys of the unexpected and unknown. Life won’t persistently knock on a door that refuses to open. Sooner or later, it leaves us alone.
On a recent flight to the airport, I was seated next to a lovely woman who shared that she learned a lot about herself from flight travel. She said you can see someone’s true colors in airports. Flying several times a week, she found flight travel the most challenging part of her week. Delays, overbookings, and cancellations were sometimes overwhelming to her work schedule. However, she learned to use these experiences to be a better person over time. She learned to show up as patient and understanding instead of intolerant and demanding. She’d learned to be flexible. Additionally, she described several situations when staff accommodated her because she was understanding and friendly. I must admit, I felt sheepish when I reflected on the many times I’d shown my true colors at the airport — which weren’t patient or tolerant.
Often, things don’t go our way because there’s something better in store. Even if it’s a huge letdown, we’re still better off embracing the inconvenience or regret than facing it with resistance. In yoga, we learn to move through the resistance. We can take the same approach when we resist life on life’s terms. We can go with the flow.
Mick Jagger’s lyrics, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need,” is a wonderful reminder that our needs are more important than our wants. Sometimes, we confuse the two. Staying flexible helps us be grateful and loving, even in tough circumstances when we don’t get what we want. However, like my new friend, I can choose which colors to express during those unwanted times. When I see it this way, I choose to have a loving attitude every time.
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Donna Marks is an educator, licensed psychotherapist, and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida. She has worked with over 6,000 clients. Donna’s struggle with addiction brought her to a worldwide search for healing. She became licensed as a Mental Health Counselor in 1987. In 1989, she earned a Doctorate Degree in Adult Education, then became Certified in Addictions, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Hypnosis, and Sex Therapy. Donna developed an award-winning addiction training program at Palm Beach Community College. She co-owns an outpatient treatment program and serves as a consultant to treatment centers. For 36 years, she has taught A Course in Miracles.
Donna is the author of three books: the multi-award-winning title Exit the Maze: One Addiction, One Cause, One Cure, and Learn, Grow, Forgive: A Path to Spiritual Success, The Healing Moment: Seven Paths to Turn Messes into Miracles of Love, and her latest fiction, Fortis & Sapiente – A Tale of Two Lovers Who Successfully Navigate the Murky Waters of Love. Donna is a public speaker and has shared her methods with millions of listeners on podcasts and radio shows.
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