Statistics indicate that up to two-thirds of individuals who seek help for addiction will experience relapse.[1] Whether it involves alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, smoking, or any other issue, the rates are similar. While longevity can be beneficial, the duration of sobriety does not guarantee permanent recovery. In any recovery meeting, very few attendees have 30 years of sobriety or more.
Relapses can easily be prevented. Here are three suggestions for success:
#1 – Staying Connected to a Recovery Community. It’s easy for someone to think they’ve got their addiction licked when they’ve been abstinent for a while. They never think about the addiction and life is good. But there’s one thing we know for sure: addiction is “cunning, baffling, powerful.” We should never assume we’ve conquered addiction.
Having a support system of individuals committed to a sober lifestyle is essential for preventing relapse. Participating in meetings, having a sponsor, and staying engaged will help someone avoid drifting too far offshore.
#2—Giving Back. Helping others is another essential aspect of maintaining sobriety. It’s easy to forget how we achieved sobriety and fall back into old patterns of thinking and behaving. They say that relapse begins (in the mind) before we ever pick up.
When we share with others how to stay sober and give back to the recovery community, we are consistently reminded of the keys to success. We remain humble instead of becoming overly confident and cocky. Rather than dipping from the well, quenching our thirst, and then moving on, we can maintain our humility and gratitude by remembering to pay it forward.
#3 – Remain Willing. The human will is a fascinating aspect of every personality. It’s the one thing that can never be taken away — even when we are under someone else’s control. We can use that free will to do as we please. People who are willing to follow the guidelines of their successful predecessors are likely to succeed. Those who wish to exercise their will to do things their own way will likely join the ranks of the 40-60% failures.
“I Did It My Way” is a great song, but it’s a surefire recipe for failure when it comes to addiction. It’s wiser to follow the steps that have proven effective over time and remain willing to continue to follow them indefinitely.
Most folks who achieve long-term, continuous sobriety were beaten into submission by their addiction. They have gone to jail, faced endless health or legal consequences, and lost everything. Eventually, they surrendered. Some of these individuals never make it; they die or become permanently handicapped due to irreparable brain, liver, or heart damage. Others might fail to do what it takes to stay sober and spend their lives in and out of relapse. It’s not necessary to reach such depths of despair. Those who stay connected, give back, and remain willing are the ones who enjoy the promises of being “happy, joyous, and free,” and their lives keep getting better and better. I don’t know about you, but that’s what I call a success story. The choice is pretty simple — winning or losing?
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Donna Marks is an educator, licensed psychotherapist, and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida. She has worked with over 6,000 clients. Donna’s struggle with addiction brought her to a worldwide search for healing. She became licensed as a Mental Health Counselor in 1987. In 1989, she earned a Doctorate Degree in Adult Education, then became Certified in Addictions, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Hypnosis, and Sex Therapy. Donna developed an award-winning addiction training program at Palm Beach Community College. She co-owns an outpatient treatment program and serves as a consultant to treatment centers. For 36 years, she has taught A Course in Miracles.
Donna is the author of three books: the multi-award-winning title Exit the Maze: One Addiction, One Cause, One Cure, and Learn, Grow, Forgive: A Path to Spiritual Success, The Healing Moment: Seven Paths to Turn Messes into Miracles of Love, and her latest fiction, Fortis & Sapiente – A Tale of Two Lovers Who Successfully Navigate the Murky Waters of Love. Donna is a public speaker and has shared her methods with millions of listeners on podcasts and radio shows.
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