3 Ways to Surpass Disappointment During the Holidays

Along with the high expectations during the holidays come disappointments as well. For some, it feels like a roller coaster ride. You think you have plans, and they change or don’t happen at all. You have plenty of time, but the unexpected robs your schedule, leaving you stressed. A team partner turns out to be someone you can’t consistently count on.
Over the years, I’ve heard countless disappointments about the holidays. It’s only natural to feel upset when someone doesn’t come through or when a wrench is thrown into your plans. But with the right mindset and plans, you can ride those waves without running aground.

# 1 – Communicate Effectively – expecting people to know what you need if you don’t tell them is unrealistic. If you want help, ask. No one expects you to do too much; martyrdom isn’t conducive to good vibes.  Conversely, be aware of opportunities to help without being asked. Noticing someone else’s needs and stepping up is a form of communicating that you care. If you have a partner or spouse, discuss the plan so that you’re on the same page instead of entirely different playbooks. Otherwise, it’s likely to create frustration or resentment. A little bit of mindfulness goes a long way.

# 2 – Expect the Unexpected – Despite the best plans and organization, things happen. Try to catch the curveballs and turn them into plusses instead of minuses. If you mentally expect the unexpected, you can remain neutral instead of angry. Grateful instead of sad. Remind yourself, ‘It’s likely something disappointing or frustrating will happen. I can handle it and won’t let it ruin my holiday.’  Remember that changes often work for the better. When you need a boost, take care of yourself. Talk to someone, take a break, and soothe yourself in healthy ways – like a cup of hot cocoa or tea with your favorite magazine.

# 3 Learn to Say “No” – This word is very difficult for givers. It cuts deep against their core. They’re caring and want to be accommodating. But try to weigh these requests objectively. Is the request thoughtful or simply rude and inconsiderate? If the tables were turned, would it seem reasonable? Are they providing additional support with their request, or is there a sense of entitlement? Sometimes, people offer to help when they’re actually creating more work for you. In these situations, you’re not obligated to accommodate them. If you want to decline, then do so. If someone isn’t used to this, you might experience pushback. Regardless, setting healthy boundaries is the loving thing to do.

It’s far more important to enjoy the holidays than getting bogged down in stress. Simple and pleasant will always trump elaborate and harried. You’re not Santa Claus. You don’t have to do the impossible. The holidays are about sharing and receiving, not suffering and distress. Thoughts and actions from love are bound to make your holidays the happiest of all.

JOIN OUR MOVEMENT TO SAVE MILLIONS OF LIVES FROM ADDICTION.