Some people live such high-stressed lives, they are constantly on edge. They are in the thick of a major project or career maneuver and they barely have time to eat and go to the restroom, let alone spend time with family, or exercise general self-care. They can’t count on uninterrupted sleep, and they’re always on call. Unable to walk away, their lives are a flurry of deadlines, duties, and making critical decisions. This is the cost of highly successful people.
While success is the result of diligence and hard work, it’s not synonymous with loss of power and control. You might not have a say about agendas, deadlines, and locations, but you do have complete control over your actions between those events. And remaining de-stressed is possible depending on your choices.
# 1 Being Early– I recently heard the expression that if you’re on time, you’re late. While this isn’t literally true, it is wise. If you plan on arriving on time, you calculate that arrival on things going as planned. But life has its own agenda and isn’t necessarily aligned with anyone else’s.
How many times have you left just in time, only to have an eighteen-wheeler slowly pull out in front of you, or encountered a broken traffic light or an accident which delayed [CH1] you? What about the train that holds you up for an additional five minutes? It might seem something’s out to get you. It’s not. Life is just rolling along. It’s not intentionally getting in our way.
Running late or just on time is stressful and causes anxiety, heart palpitations, and physical tension that’s draining. You arrive emotionally frayed and uptight.
When you arrive five or ten minutes early, delays aren’t troubling. You can relax, listen to music, or even catch up on a few texts or calls. Arriving early allows us to think about what we’re going to say or do, take a few deep breaths, and feel additionally prepared instead of anxious and tense.
# 2 Do it Now
People often label themselves as lazy or procrastinators when they’ve simply developed poor habits. They’ve listened to the wrong part of their minds. Instead of developing the constructive thought of ‘Do it now,’ they’ve listened to an unproductive thought such as, ‘Do it later.’
Kicking the can down the road accomplishes one thing — more work and more stress, and a feeling of disempowerment. Tasks get piled underneath the immediate and unexpected tasks and you’re always playing catch up. Exhausting.
When you stay on top of all tasks, your to-do slate remains clean, and your energy level stays high. A good to-do list is completed every day with no buildup clogging your emotional arteries. Ending your day with a list to tackle immediately or first thing the following morning, is an effective habit that will keep you pumped and energized.
#3 Be prepared
Being prepared means that you have a toolbox that you consistently replenish so that you always have resources at your fingertips. Instead of starting at square one for every project, you have a system that you follow. If there are resources you must access, you keep them handy and well-organized on your phone or computer so that you can quickly retrieve them.
If you’re presenting a project, you’ve organized your materials and know your role. You aren’t floundering or anxious, but calm and confident. You look forward to work and are ready to roll.
#4 Having a list of non-negotiables
Non-negotiables relate to good self-care i.e., eating healthy, resting, and pacing yourself. Even if you’re pulled in many different directions, you must take the time for proper self-care.
Stressful careers create physical and mental tension. Many people de-stress with quick-fix methods.
Instead of relaxing with prescription meds, alcohol, or other substances, learn how to relax through natural techniques like three deep breaths, a walk outdoors, and meditation. It’s easy to dismiss the benefit of these simple methods. Skepticism about their simplicity blocks the great benefits they provide.
Reframing thoughts can help you to remain calmer. Choose to see a situation as an opportunity for growth or expansion instead of torture. Instead of thinking how difficult a situation is, tell yourself it’s only temporary. Remind yourself things usually work out in the end.
Taking time to make the best decisions regarding your role at work can provide unlimited benefits. Most important, when you manage the stress factors you can control, you’ll put your energy into showing up as the best version of yourself. Then, regardless of the external stress, you are most likely to be a success.
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Donna Marks is an educator, licensed psychotherapist, and addictions counselor in Palm Beach, Florida. She has worked with over 6,000 clients. Donna’s struggle with addiction brought her to a worldwide search for healing. She became licensed as a Mental Health Counselor in 1987. In 1989, she earned a Doctorate Degree in Adult Education, then became Certified in Addictions, Gestalt Therapy, Psychoanalysis, Hypnosis, and Sex Therapy. Donna developed an award-winning addiction training program at Palm Beach Community College. She co-owns an outpatient treatment program and serves as a consultant to treatment centers. For 36 years, she has taught A Course in Miracles.
Donna is the author of three books: the multi-award-winning title Exit the Maze: One Addiction, One Cause, One Cure, and Learn, Grow, Forgive: A Path to Spiritual Success, The Healing Moment: Seven Paths to Turn Messes into Miracles of Love, and her latest fiction, Fortis & Sapiente – A Tale of Two Lovers Who Successfully Navigate the Murky Waters of Love. Donna is a public speaker and has shared her methods with millions of listeners on podcasts and radio shows.
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