Three Ways to Turn Disappointments into Opportunities

Life is full of disappointments. As so skillfully stated in Robert Burns’s poem, To A Mouse, “The best laid schemes o’ mice and men/Gang aft a-gley (oft go awry) — no matter how much we effectively plan, sometimes things just don’t work out.

It’s those curve balls in life that we don’t see coming that cause us the most frustration and pain.

Our moods need not be at the effect of unpredictability. With so many moving parts to life (weather, illness, mishaps, change of mind, lies and deceptions), it’s amazing that things go as well as they do. But when our hearts are set on things going a certain way, it’s only natural to feel disappointed when life throws us unwanted angles. But we need not take those curves personally. Instead, we can gather our wits and use those disappointments as opportunities for something better.

Opportunity # 1 – Learn and Grow from the Experience

Every disappointment provides an opportunity for personal growth. Instead of succumbing to grief, we could choose to be optimistic. We can ask ourselves, “What could I do better?” Perhaps improved communication or a different delivery plan would help to achieve the desired goal.

Thomas Edison didn’t master electricity in a day, he spent years experimenting before he was able to channel this source of energy into lighting. He used his repeated failures to learn and ultimately prevailed. Just imagine if he’d given up and lost sight of his goal. Nope. Like any successful person, he turned his failures into learning and growing and ultimately prevailed.

Maturity comes from acquiring a good attitude even when we’re disappointed. It’s keeping your emotional keel deep in the water even when the waves get choppy and rough. You don’t allow your mood to be at the whims of unexpected circumstances and decide to stay positive even when you don’t feel that way. With enough practice, you develop the good habit of staying strong instead of weak amidst life’s mysterious twists and turns.

Opportunity # 2 – Have Alternate Plans

We’ve heard the expression, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” If the basket is dropped all the eggs are cracked. But if you have backup plans, you can move on to the alternate plan and keep inching forward toward the goal. Let’s say you have the most important job interview of your life, the perfect date, or you found your dream home. You can’t wait for this particular event to happen, and it never crosses your mind that it won’t. But if the plan is canceled, you feel crushed and defeated.

When you have a backup plan, you’ve put your eggs in different baskets. You want the job, but you have your sights on other interviews and possibilities as well. You look forward to meeting a particular person, but you have lots of friends who’ll rescue you if your date falls through. You make sure you have more than one dream home possibility by staying open-minded and continuing your search despite your desire for a specific house.

When you have alternate plans, you buffer disappointment with hope. Instead of succumbing to failure, you simply move on to the next pre-planned pleasant experience.

Opportunity # 3 – Have Faith There’s Something Better 

Just because certain plans fail, doesn’t mean you’re a failure. In fact, most of us settle for less than we deserve. Sometimes, life has a much better plan for us than we anticipated.

Faith isn’t an automatic reaction to life’s disappointments. Faith is a spiritual muscle that is built through restraint and self-discipline. It’s partially having a mindset that everything will work out for the best, and then the ability to allow everything to work out for the best. When we are impatient or try to force outcomes, we are doing the opposite of having faith.

When plans fail, it’s usually for a good reason. We can’t see the whole picture. Maybe that dream job wasn’t so upscale, or the perfect date wasn’t unattached, or the dream home was full of termite damage. We can’t always see the reasons for failed outcomes, but we don’t have to. We can simply learn to trust that there’s a bigger picture than what meets the eye and that there’s something better around the corner.

Faith comes from doing our part but then allowing time and the universe to connect the dots. After a few experiences in the waiting room, you’ll learn to patiently anticipate the next good thing that’s coming your way without the fear that your aspirations won’t come to fruition.

Every disappointment holds an opportunity. What we do with those disappointments can either defeat us or teach us valuable lessons. When all is said and done and life has made its final imprints ‘round the corners of your eyes and lips, may those indelible lines reflect gratification and joy instead of bitter grief.

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