Three Ways to Avoid Peer Pressure and Keep Your Power

High school and college are some of the best but also some of the toughest years of one’s life. It’s a time when we become more independent of our family and more dependent on our peers. There are so many new temptations – sex, drinking, drugs, spending – and it’s easy to be wrongly influenced. Wanting to fit in and be a part of a group is entirely natural. But being dependent on a support system needs to be a healthy fit. Sometimes, we try too hard, or we’re made to feel less than – not attractive enough, not the right clothes, not cool enough, not wanted – if we don’t conform.

You don’t need to subject yourself to someone else’s approval. You can enjoy these years fully by simply being yourself without getting lost in trends and pressures. If you find yourself seeking approval, there’s plenty you can do to maintain your power. 

Maintain Your Individuality – There’s a balance between trying and learning new things and taking unnecessary risks. Some risks have long-term or even permanent consequences. Most of our bad choices derive from giving in to peer pressure – real or imagined. If all your friends are into partying, focused on designer clothes, or cliquish, you may find yourself doing the same.

You never have to go along with someone’s coercion. You needn’t feel inferior because you don’t dress to be cool. You don’t have to like or try things that you’re not comfortable with. When tempted to go along with something that doesn’t feel quite right, take a moment to pause. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to do this?” “Is this the best decision?” “Am I being true to myself and my goals?” Whenever in doubt remember, “To thine own self be true.” No one’s opinion of you is more important than your own.

Every person is a unique individual. It’s important to embrace your individuality. The fact that you like yourself just the way you are makes you more appealing than someone who needs everyone’s approval.

Have a Mentor – As young adults, we tend to want individuation from our parents. We want to make our own decisions without being told what to do. We’re also making decisions that we’re not inclined to share with parents. Not fully adult and with a brain that’s still developing, having a trusted adult to run things by is important.

A mentor could be anyone that you look up to. Some people have a relative whom they trust to give sound confidential advice. It could be a teacher or even an older friend who’s a good role model. Some people get guidance from online influencers and coaches. Regardless of whom you choose as a mentor, be sure that you take advantage of the guidance. Bad decisions can have long-term consequences, and the best way to avoid them is to seek guidance when in doubt.

Diversify Your Support System – The more resources available to make friends, the less dependent you’ll be on any one source. It’s a good idea to push yourself a little and break into new areas of interest to build a bigger support system. Stepping into unknown areas can be anxiety provoking. Most people feel nervous in a room full of strangers, and that’s when we’re the most susceptible to alcohol and drugs. Moderation isn’t a problem, but it’s easy to overdo it and most people don’t realize how addictive alcohol is. This could be costly to your grades, your finances, and your self-image. Research shows teens who drink are more likely to develop alcohol problems later. You can best manage your insecurities by sticking with people who’ve learned how to be confident without medicating stress with alcohol or drugs.

If you have more than one group of friends, you’ll have more social options. If one friendship or group doesn’t work out, you’re not left out in the cold. Being active in different hobbies or interests, like sports, a club, music, or any other special interest, you’ll always have something else to do and other people to be with.

Those with the best self-esteem are well-liked. They aren’t looking for approval and they emit an inner strength that attracts people. No one can offer you more approval than yourself. If you like yourself, disapproval won’t affect you. When you offer the best of yourself to the world, that is enough.

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