Three Ways to Move from Loneliness to Connection

Loneliness is one of the saddest and most unaddressed conditions among American adults. A recent Harvard study revealed that 36% of all Americans (including 61% of young adults) suffer severe loneliness. Life has changed over the past few decades from personal connections to pseudo-connections. Technology has sucked away a great deal of our time and interests and kept us in a box. Unfiltered comments on social media have caused many young people great despair, which in most cases are wrong and often cruel. People who are retired or less active feel forgotten and worthless.

Feeling different, less than, or too challenged with relationships has pushed people further into the recesses of their imaginary safety compartments called home. Some people become so isolated, they become agoraphobic and experience overwhelming fear whenever leaving their homes. They burrow in like hiding in a war zone, just wanting to be left in peace. 

Loneliness is a serious condition but is easily remedied if someone is willing to reconnect. We weren’t meant to be isolated and alone, the breeding grounds for depression. There is a way out of darkness for anyone willing to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Change Behavior Patterns 

Even though it might be too uncomfortable to venture into the mainstream, you still have options. Many people who feel lonely have become routine in their daily activities and withdrawn from human interaction. Instead of rigidly sticking to the same rote behaviors, you can start switching things up. 

Do something new. Watch a different TV show. Shop at a new grocery store and compliment the checkout clerk. Instead of letting the dog out in the yard, take the dog out for a walk. Find a good recipe and invite someone over. Read a new book and stick with it until you finish it – even if you read only two or three pages a day. No matter how simple, changing your daily routine can begin to break up the cycle that has fostered mental boredom. And no matter what, stay away from things that bring you down. If you’re trying to feel better, you must stop the behaviors that cause you angst.

Support Groups

A support group can be anything from group therapy to something as simple as an educational class or a new hobby. It could even be calling two or three people to check on them and see if they would like to get together. Any source of learning something new is a support group. If going out in public is too much, there’s an abundance of support groups online. No matter what the topic, there’s help. There’s even an “Anti-loneliness” webpage that offers support groups. Help is all around you.

Loneliness is fostered by a state of mind that keeps us there. Taking that first step to reach out for help can be like your first meal after a period of starvation. Easy does it but do it. Taking a risk to get support, no matter how small, can produce huge amounts of relief from loneliness and restoration to feeling human again.

Finally, stay away from people who are unkind and find kind people who feel good to be around. You can’t heal a wound if it keeps getting poked.

Reach Out

If you’re suffering from loneliness, it’s unlikely that anyone or anything will force you out of that place. Unwanted circumstances like retirement, the death of a loved one, disappointing relationships, or any other painful experiences, can cause us to withdraw. But despite all of life’s painful blows, we can recover.

When something painful happens, you want nothing more than to nurse your wounds and allow them to heal. But after a period of grieving, it’s time to reach out. It might be something as simple as calling someone you hardly know to check on them or chat with a neighbor for a few minutes. Some people find great benefits from doing volunteer work either at an agency or with anyone else in need. When you’re giving, you can’t feel lonely and depressed because you’re tapping into a place of love instead of feeling lack.

Loneliness is a debilitating condition that can make a person’s world so tiny that they no longer feel a reason to exist. But so long as you’re here, there’s a reason and you still have a purpose. Just because life’s circumstances have changed, doesn’t mean your future needs to be full of endless pain. At any time, you can switch from feeling useless to being useful. 

Your life is an endless journey with multiple chapters. The story isn’t over just because one chapter ended. Many people find fulfillment until their last breath. If you’re lonely, you can start the next page of your life instead of remaining stuck on one that has ended. No matter what your age, there are always new things, and people, to keep your story interesting and alive. Loneliness starts with an event but ends in your mind when you decide to be otherwise. And since the only cure for loneliness is people, when you reach out and touch someone, you can’t be lonely anymore.

1. https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/reports/loneliness-in-america

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