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Some people have had dozens of chances to get sober, the best treatment centers, a good support system, and yet they don’t stay sober. Other people have minimal resources and no support system, yet they do get sober. How can this be?

Every human being has an individual path. If and when a person gets well is entirely dependent on complete surrender to do so. Once someone is 100% committed to self-love, there is nothing or no one that could ever make them go back to violating their body, mind, or soul. And, by the same token, until someone reaches this point, there is no one or anything that can motivate that person to want to love themselves enough to stop addictive behavior. You might have leverage; take away a marriage, a career, financial support, and you might even get that person to stop indulging in the addiction. But, ending a single addiction is a far cry from being cured.

Addiction is a Death Wish

Addiction is the only disease that tells you it’s enjoyable to destroy your life. Every addiction is an unconscious desire to self-destruct. You know that what you’re doing isn’t right for you or your loved ones, but something inside of you overrides that common sense. Those kinds of thoughts get ignored, or you tell yourself, ‘I need just a little more time, and then I’ll stop.’ Meanwhile, another precious day gets flushed down the drain of addiction. Months and years go by, each passing moment taking you further into the maze of personal pain and silent suffering. I call it your personal hell on earth.

Until someone is ready to surrender completely, they will either relapse or switch to another; cigarettes for food, alcohol for drugs, food for sex, etc.

A person cannot truly recover until they realize that they are treating their body like a toxic waste dump in which to dispose of every imaginable harmful substance; alcohol, drugs, tobacco, and excessive amounts of sugar and trans fats. Rather than seeing their body as a beautiful creation to share and receive love, they use it as a mechanical device to produce a momentary hit of sexual endorphins, digital stimulation, or any other dopamine-producing activity to get, get, get.

The End of Silent Suffering

Those who have survived the suicide mission of addiction have found the truth — there is nothing to get but madness. They realize their addiction has put them in a loveless box of desire that has closed in on them, leaving them alone and lonely. Once the addiction has robbed them of everything, it blames everyone else for their loneliness and misery. If what the words I am writing here bother you and upset you — that’s actually a good thing.

Now is the time to turn your anger toward your addiction. You are currently on to the lies it’s been telling you. The voice that tells you it’s okay to keep using is the same voice that beats you up when you do. Is this the voice of sanity or love?

The path to healing and recovery is easy. You decide to give instead of getYou give yourself the truth. You face what your addiction has done to you. You face the cause, and you let go of the pain. You refuse to do anything that isn’t good for you. You fully commit to learning how to love yourself and you resolve to never give up.

You are here for a reason. Your life has meaning and purpose. Your addiction has robbed you of that — one minute at a time. It has either ruined every dream or kept them from ever happening.

No one will ever love you more than you love yourself. Addiction is not love; it’s a bottomless pit of pain and suffering. Only you can decide — heaven or hell?

Do you feel ready to end the insanity of addiction?

You can start right now by deciding that you are worth saving.

If you want to connect with Dr. Donna Marks, and find out about her tools and programs on how to Reclaim Your Power Over Addiction, visit her website

About the Author — Dr. Donna Marks believes that the current models for diagnosis, treatment, and addiction have failed. Her mission is to help save at least 10 million lives by 2030, through education and prevention. She has been an author, consultant, educator, public speaker, licensed psychotherapist, instructor of A Course in Miracles, and addictions counselor in private practice in Palm Beach, Florida, for more than thirty years.

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