Have you tried to stop doing something but no matter what, you find yourself going back again and again? If so, you are one of the hundreds of millions of people in the U.S. alone, who can not break a pattern. Here are a few of those patterns:

15.1 Million Alcohol Abusers (NIH) 10% of children live with an alcoholic parent
11.4 Million Opiate Abusers (HHS.GOV)
6 Million Gambling Disorders (Natl. Institute of Problem Gambling)
50 Million Nicotine Addicts (NIH)
70 Million Food and Eating Disorders (Orlando Centinel 9/2/16)
9 Million Sex Addicts (Project Know)

This list does not include other addictions; illegal drugs, exercise, spending, work, co- dependency, video games, internet, pornography…. the list goes on… Did you know that if we eliminated drug and food disorders, there would be virtually no health care problems? We have been brainwashed into thinking that this pill, this food, etc., will make everything ok. The quick fix slowly digs away at whatever goodness we have inside, leaving the pit larger as time goes on.


You may have tried everything, and you have succumbed to the part of your mind that says you will never succeed. Here are some of the reasons people stay stuck in the maze:

  1. You think you can control the behavior that you do not want. This is completely illogical. Why control something that has had you all of your life? Why control something that you do not want?
  2. You’ve been to treatment so many times, you’ve given up. If treatment does not work by the second or third time, it should be treated like another addiction.
  3. You’ve been under the misperception that if you stop doing something, it’s over. Nothing is over until you get to the root of the problem that you keep self-medicating. The only cure for self-destruction is self-love.
  4. You think that you are allergic to your feelings and that you can’t stand the way that you feel. Perfectly understandable—given the fact that your emotions have gotten you into more trouble than you ever wanted. Do this, take that, for the quick fix, but the quick fix isn’t the real fix. There is a way to use your emotions as a healthy guide rather than self-destructive.
  5. You are full of self-loathing and down deep you feel unworthy of love—this is the biggest lie of all. You were born lovable, and you are here to love. You must face what happened in your childhood, without blaming anyone.
  6. You continually choose fear over love. Most people have no real concept of the meaning of love in real life. Whenever your mind tells you to go back to the behavior you do not want, you listen to that voice rather than a few minutes of self-love that will take you forever out of the maze.
  7. You do not know how to forgive. You have been under the spell that you need to forgive other people—another circuitous route through the maze. The only person you need to forgive is yourself.

In spite of what you may think, you can stop doing unwanted behaviors, and no one can stop you, but you. You may have been conditioned that your situation is hopeless, but it is hopeful. If you have tried and failed, time and time again now is the time for the miracle. You can turn your insane mindset from “doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results,” to “doing the same thing again and again and getting different results.”

There is only one caveat; YOU MUST CHOOSE LOVE OVER FEAR. With the thousands of people I have treated, it is the ones who are willing to feel the discomfort and do the work who succeed. No one likes the discomfort that comes from growing pains; however, emotional healing is just like physical healing. You can ignore the symptoms, medicate the pain, but until you treat the cause of the wound, you will only prolong the agony and stay sick. You must heal the very thing that is keeping you sick.


Whether you are in therapy or not, you can start your journey now. If you are ready to stop living the lie and get out of the maze, Learn, Grow, Forgive, is a three-step process that will help you: learn why you’re wired the way that you are, how to grow through unresolved emotions, and how to forgive. You can have the life that you were meant to have, you are in charge of your future, and you can claim it now.

Join the discussion One Comment

  • Paula Taylor says:

    I cut my pain medication today by 1/4, next week 1/2. I WILL CONTINUE THIS PATH UNTL I AM FREE, TRULY FREE OF ALL MIND ALTERING DRUGS. Then I know I’ll be happier and worthy of true love.

Leave a Reply